so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
