well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
