Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
