boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
