I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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