Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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