Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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