Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
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