I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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