That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize