I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
wow bdsm is so cute
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