You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
