just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
