First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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