Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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