it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
you never un-have a 4some
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
