you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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