This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
