do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
