perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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