Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
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Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
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I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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