Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
