loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
