my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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