Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
