Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
my liver is dry heaving
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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