i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
3 2 1 whiskey
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
