Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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