I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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