I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
time to smoke my breakfast
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
