Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize