Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
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Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
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I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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