I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nutella sex= disaster
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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