He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
