No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
