I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
