omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
