I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
