I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
dude. I can hear the air.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize