The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
