Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize