Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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