So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
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If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
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I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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