so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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