I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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