you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I booty called her while she was in labor.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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