Define "chronic" masturbator.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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