i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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