I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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