i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I love having hate sex.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize