some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina