3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
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I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
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His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.