doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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