I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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