Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
