and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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