Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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