Sry I called you an 8
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
