So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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