'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
