Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
